I’ve grown up in a Christian family knowing about God’s love in my head. But only recently have I experienced this love in my heart. For years, I called myself a Christian, but my life didn’t reflect it. I was looking for future happiness in nights out, a social scene usually fuelled by alcohol, male validation and career ambition.
About a year ago, God started to stir a deep discontentment in me. Very quickly, the thrill of drunken nights out, dating apps, and my shiny new grad salary started to wear off, and for the first time ever, I turned to God for a breakthrough. When I gave God an ultimatum, he responded loud and clear, albeit not with the message I wanted to hear: the only way to experience true, long-lasting contentment, freedom and joy is the powerful act of surrender. I had to physically kneel before him and surrender everything before I finally understood and believed this.
This surrender has cost me. Not just in pride (when my legs gave out in front of the entire church after kneeling for too long) but also in friendships, social arrangements, time, money, and reputation. Have I succeeded in perfect surrender? No. Have I lost the desire to control every detail of my life? No. Has temptation left me? No. But does His grace cover it and his love honour it? Yes. In my broken and imperfect surrender, God has generously given me more than I ever expected; Christ-centered friendships, life-giving rest, unexplainable peace, and joy that runs deeper than my circumstances. So whoever you are, whatever your story, my prayer is that you surrender all, take up your cross, and follow Him. It won’t be easy, but you definitely won’t regret it.
